What does a "day-off" mean as a new mama?

As a native Michiganian, Patriots’ Day is a new holiday for me. I certainly don’t object to having the day off work, and although I’ve only experienced a handful of Patriots’ Days living in Massachusetts, I know enough about this holiday to recognize just how strange this year is. The Boston Marathon, which has taken place on the third Monday of April every year since 1897, was rescheduled. There is no home game for the Boston Red Sox at Fenway Park. Battle re-enactments and historic tours have been canceled. 

While my family does not have any rituals centered around this particular holiday, it is interesting to reflect on how this, and every holiday, have completely changed this year. I’m not referring to COVID-19 related changes (although that is also the case), I’m referring to the big life change of becoming a mother. I’ve found that holidays, vacations, and even weekends are less relaxing yet more meaningful at the same time. 

Boston Marathon | April 2019 | Brookline, MA

Last year on “Marathon Monday,” my husband and I slept in, moseyed over to catch part of the marathon (we lived just a few blocks down from the course at that time), and then grabbed a late brunch at one of our favorite restaurants. By luck, we happened to catch the elite men marathon runners as they passed by. Fast forward a year - the sheer idea of a day unfolding like this now is laughable. Sleeping in? Going out to an unplanned brunch? Not needing to hurry back for nap time? Obviously, watching the marathon and a brunch out are off the table for everyone today — but it’s the unstructured aspect of my pre-mom life that I find myself grieving the most. 

Today by comparison, I woke up at 5:15 AM when the dog decided to jump into the bed. I then did the same morning routine I’ve been doing everyday for the last few months. The rest of my day is structured around nap times, feeding times, and bedtime. My husband and I have a “dance” we do throughout the day, taking “shifts” as the point person responsible for keeping the baby alive. I find myself longing for a long-weekend or a vacation where I can sleep in, loose track of time with my nose in a book, and just head out the door without a game plan and packed diaper bag.

Patriots' Day 2020 — Baking muffins & wearing our Boston Red Sox gear (for <5 seconds)

They say that children thrive on routines and rituals. It makes them feel safe and provides a comforting structure in this chaotic world. As much as I’d like to completely “un-plug” and escape at times — I’m realizing that this need for routine and ritual is not only beneficial for my child, but for me. With the uncertainty of the future, routines and rituals give some semblance of normalcy to our days. I’m slowly coming around to mom life — which right now means embracing that my days “off” from my 9-5 job look different than they used to a year ago. And that’s a good thing.